Eve Levotskaja...

...At the Battle of Gettysburg! by Peter Christopher June, 2001

(Or you can find some of Eve's writing here.

Eve heard about an important battle to be fought in Gettysburg. Since she lived right down the road she decided to help out. So she spent some time thinking about how to participate fruitfully.

Eve realized that she would have to do some fund-raising to raise money for the war campaign so she started selling lip-gloss to passersby along the rocky road to Dublin.

"Maybe you want some of this," she asks some guy, who just ignores her.

Then she tries to get a little conniving for the next innocent victim... "This is a great product", she says. But that doesn't work either.

"What in the world can I do to make this work?" she says. You can see the gears grinding.

Eve remembers that she used to negotiate huge media contracts in Estonia and tries to pretend like she's in one of those commercials.

Didn't work... but she tries again...

Eve's next tactic is to try something entirely different. She claims that lip gloss can make your legs prettier too.

I think at this point she's pretty desperate!

Finally Eve shows her annoyance and starts forcing people to buy lip gloss. "You loser, buy this gloss!" she says.

Now for whatever reason, that worked. She has finally been successful and with her earnings, she can go to battle.

Then Eve hired a driver with a cool car to take her to the battle.

Now Eve gets to work pushing the cannons into position for battle and fires on the enemy.

Eve climbs up on the canon to see whether she has won the battle. She is victorious!

Then she relaxes like it's the beach...

...this is ricidulous!

"Where are those reinforcements anyway? I already won the battle!" she laments.

Here come the reinforcements...
You can hear Eve crying out,
"This is the dolt I've been sent as a reinforcement?
I get no respect around here!"

But the dolt reinforcement explains that she she was the one who was late and the battle was over about 150 years ago...

Look at her take off as if nothing happened!

Luckily she can laugh about it later.

Eve with the photographer